Uncomfortable grace.....when God takes you to a place in your faith that isn't what you intended, and not at all where you want to go, but it's a place of learning, healing, growth.
Uncomfortable grace is a word that came up today around noon when I was talking with someone I consider a mentor in the faith. We were talking about Beth Moore. She asked me which study of Beth Moore's was my favorite. I have done several studies, but told her which one touched me the most. I told her how I did that study at a time when God took me to a place of rock bottom in my faith, broke me to many pieces, and then put me back together again. When I did the study, I was climbing back up from a dark place. As I hit rock bottom, I understood grace more than I ever had, but it was not a pleasant time, God broke me, and I needed it. Uncomfortable grace, for sure.
Nine years ago today was the last time I saw my beloved, sweet Gram. She died on the 17th, but slipped in to a state of unconsciousness and I did not want to remember her like that, so did not see her on her last day on this earth. I sat in the waiting room, crying, overcome with anxiety, and worrying every time my mom would come out of her room that my Gram was gone. But, my Gram being my Gram, went on her terms. She left her earthly body right before her two daughters arrived the following morning. What does this have to do with uncomfortable grace? One, I dealt with learning how to grieve, work through that, cherish precious memories, and heal through loss. Today, nine years to the date later, I sat in the same hospital, in the same waiting area, on the same floor, with my friend. I have been to that hospital numerous times since that date, but today was tough as I walked by the last place I held my Gram's hand, kissed and hugged her, and told her I loved her. Memories swept over me, and I fought tears, because I was there for my friend. As the hours passed, my mind would drift to the room across the hall from where I was sitting, the place my Gram moved from this earthly life to life with Jesus. Uncomfortable grace popped in my head, and I smiled at how God brought this phrase in to my life just hours before. At that moment, uncomfortable grace was moving through my soul. I was there to support a friend, but God brought some healing to me while I was there.
Uncomfortable grace is where God intervenes so we can recognize our weaknesses, and lean into his strength. Uncomfortable grace is where God reveals Himself to us in the difficulties, so we learn to trust Him. Uncomfortable grace takes places of brokenness, puts the pieces back together, and though we are cracked, we are stronger because we have allowed God to carefully glue us back together and mold us as He wants us to be. Uncomfortable grace goes into the places of fear, and covers it with peace. Uncomfortable grace shakes up our comfort zone and makes us examine what we really believe. Uncomfortable grace died on a cross for all of our sins, to save us.
