Moving Day

It's been a crazy few days. Friday, we moved my mother-in-law closer to us. She is a woman who does not like change, so this move was a bit stressful on her, not to mention that the retirement apartments she was living at made it a horrible transition. She was really excited about the move until they stepped in a month ago and started to play mind games with her. I know this partially because of one of the people who works there telling me so. This person is the only one who did things the right way by saying 'we will miss you, but you need to be by your family and it will be a good move for you.' The owners told her she didn't need to move, she was fine, and she should show us and not listen to what her son wanted for her, and believe me, they meant every word of it. One of the employees came in to her room as we were packing up the van and told me how horrible of a person I was for forcing her to move and that we had NO RIGHT to do that to her, as she gave me a drop dead glare and went on and on to my mother-in-law as to why she should not go. Professional, huh? First of all, no one forced her! She made the decision. Of course, this place can house about 85 residents, and only has about 23 right now because conditions have gone downhill so bad the past two years. I bit my tongue in respect for my mother-in-law, but did say that we were just looking out for her best interests and wanting her closer to us. I know, we are horrible for caring about her health and well-being, and wanting to be close by to visit with her, but guess that is the way it is. She is now 10 minutes away instead of an hour. Earlier this Fall, she was quite ill, and we didn't even know about it, because she didn't tell us. The place she was living will not share that information with the family. By the time we found out she had been so ill, she almost needed hospitalization to recover. It took many weeks for her recovery, in what should have only taken a couple days, if the proper steps would have been taken during her illness. We had been talking of having her move down by us at that point, but once she was so ill, it was the final decision, and she agreed. One of my husband's first questions to the new place was about contacting family if she was to get ill. They said they do that immediately, because they know that some times the parents don't want to worry their kids, so they don't always share the needed information.

As far as the new apartment, she is settling in already, making some new friends, and getting involved in activities. After having her first meal at the new apartments the night she moved in, she thinks she will definitely like it there. They serve upper end restaurant style food, with several choices for starters, entrees, sides, and desserts. It is real food, not prepared starchy bad cafeteria style food, like she was having. There are servers to wait on them, take their order, and bring them whatever their hearts desire. Her first meal was home made clam chowder, grilled salmon, steamed veggies, and huckleberry ice cream. At the other place, she had to serve herself for two of the meals, and the third was brought to their table much like the hospital does, with a big industrial cart and a tray, no options for what you would like to eat. Now, serving yourself through a cafeteria line is not easy when you use a walker, so she's thrilled to be waited on at her meals! She said "I think I will lose some weight with this healthy food." I agreed with her. The new place is made to make the residents feel special, like they are living in a resort. Much detail has gone into making it a spacious, yet homey place for all who live there. There are game rooms, computer labs, a pool and spa, workout area, along with many other rooms/areas we have yet to discover. Unlike other places, this one makes the residents feel like they still have something to offer to society, and they want to give them options to keep them busy, keep their minds busy and vibrant, and they seem to honor them as valued citizens, as those in the older generation should be treated, not demeaned and forgotten about.

We still have a few boxes to empty, and pictures to hang, but we have made progress. We were all quite worn out by the end of a couple days, so decided to take a little break and get back to it tomorrow. I am grateful for finding this new home for her, and hoping it truly becomes home to her within the next few days, as I think it will. I know my husband is happy to have his mom close by so he can check on her health wise, and so we can stop in and visit and enjoy more time together.