Overwhelmed

My mind is full of unrest and is reeling in horror, as I think of the things I heard from a group of girls at a meeting I was at. These are not girls in juvie, or in trouble, just average middle school girls. I wonder what this world is going to look like in ten years, when these eleven to thirteen year olds are in their twenties. Some of the main topics we heard were severe drug abuse and addiction with themselves and their families, alcoholic parents, physical abuse, rape, hopelessness, fear of becoming their deadbeat parents, girls getting pregnant at nine, another girl who has been pregnant three times at the age of thirteen. It seems that twelve is now a pretty accepted age in this generation to start having babies, because over the past few weeks, we have heard of several girls that age who are pregnant, and the other girls don't even think twice about it. Every girl in the room had a family member addicted to meth, and/or some type of major drug. Most have fears of, or the reality of, being taken from their homes and put in foster care because their parents are in jail. 'Dad tried to strangle me, then beat me, so I called the police and I was taken away. He was high on meth at the time. My whole family is addicted to meth or some type of drug,' came from an eleven year old's mouth, who has already been to drug treatment herself. "I am scared to grow up because I don't want to become like my mom. My mom drinks so much she doesn't even know what she is doing. She hits me when she's drunk, which is all the time anymore. I don't want to be like her, but how do I not become her? I'm scared to become a mom, and think I probably shouldn't be one because I don't want to hurt my kids the way my mom has hurt me" came from another girl. Yet another shared, "My family hates each other. They sit in separate rooms all the time, and no one talks to each other. We are never together. I am lonely, sad, and scared. Did I do something to cause this? Mom and dad don't speak, they just fight. I don't like living there. I want my family to love each other. Why does it have to be this way?" Another shared 'My dad is in prison more than he is out. I never see him, which is fine with me. He's an addict. My siblings have followed in his footsteps and are in jail, as well. My mom just shuts down. She doesn't even care anymore. It's like the rest of us kids aren't even there. We might get put in foster care and that scares me.' Story after story came flowing out of these girls mouths. Some have lived such horrifying things in their lives that I can't imagine how they function. One watched as a family member was murdered in front of her. One has seen her mom in very compromising positions with multiple people. Some have been sexually abused by their dad. How can parents do this to their kids? My heart aches and breaks for these girls.

The other gal and I who sat with these girls tried not to show shock and disbelief in all we heard. We did a pretty good job, I think. After it was over, we both looked at each other, in tears, and overwhelmed with sadness and grief. How do you help these kids? What do you say when they already have so many layers of walls built up around their young hearts that they can't feel anymore at the age of twelve? They seek love, but they seek it in the wrong forms.

It's time for stable, caring adults to start stepping into kids lives because there is a generation seeking someone to be a parent figure to them. So many kids are missing that, it's not just these girls who have what seems like extreme situations. Unfortunately, the more I talk with teens in the past couple years, the more these stories are the norm, not the unusual. Take some time to invest in a kid. Let's start to change their future, and give them hope that they can break the cycle and be different!